Growing up steeped in fundamentalist christianity, Christian nationalism, and served a daily theological dish of “Total Depravity”, it was only natural to feel inadequate growing up.
When I was Christian, I was too much of a radical and too much of a sinner.
And now that I’m an atheist, I wasn’t enough of a Christian.
I’m too bourgeoise for the socialists, and too much of a dirty commie for the conservatives.
Breaking from religion and experiencing mainstream culture, trying to make the world a kinder, more generous and fair place, I had hoped there would be a little more grace.
The naivety of youth…
So, here I am, stuck in the middle again.
Too inclusive for white feminism, but not considerate enough in my prioritization of the endless array of social issues to ever please intersectional feminism.
I just don’t have the capacity to care about everything.
Men spit the word feminist at me.
White women roll their eyes and act like it wasn’t 50 years ago in one of the most progressive nations on earth, that none of us were considered human enough to have our own bank accounts and make medical decisions for ourselves…act like it isn’t today that many states are trying to take away our medical rights…act like it isn’t today that many institutions treat black women as if they aren’t responsible enough to handle a loan.
And, intersectional feminism condescendingly informs me that my lived experiences impact my priorities and decision-making, as if I don’t already know that and take it into careful consideration-as if all of our lived experiences aren’t impacting our priorities and decision-making.
I ask what intersectional feminists expect of themselves and others, and I’m told that it is the wrong question.
I’m told that the right question is “what would an equal world look like?”
Well, I already have an answer to that. And, I bet you do too. Most of our disagreements lie in the way to achieve it, and where it is most important to apply our limited resources and energy.
I have not been able to escape or live up to the label of feminist, my entire life.
So, what am I supposed to do?
