I wrote the following at the same time I wrote part 1…but I was hesitant to share it for fear of backlash. For fear of hurting oppressed groups of people. For fear of that my words would be perceived as hostility and not as a plea for focus and deliberate strategy.
I still question if I have the right to say some of it.
But, many of the people in many of the causes that I care about, fail to see that those against us perceive this as a culture war. White Christian Nationalists have been strategizing and fighting consistently for the past 20+ years, entrenching themselves, building their support, while we merrily cheer for each new achievement, before it has been fully won.
Given the leaking of the majority opinion of the Supreme Court…I’ve decided to share this, because I have seen coming for a decade and women’s rights are not the only ones on the chopping block.
I care about life, liberty, and freedom from oppression.
You can call me a feminist if you want, but that isn’t the point.
When I argue for abortion rights, it is because criminalizing and preventing it is taking away the individual human agency to make medical decisions for one’s self. It happens to be women in this case. But, forced sterilizations for men would fall into the same category and are something I am as firmly against. If it was illegal to donate your kidney without your wife’s permission, or to treat STIs, or to have your sperm count tested, or anything else you can think of taking health care choices away from individuals, I would have as much of a problem as I do with anti-abortionists. It’s not about the advancement of women. It’s about an end of a controlling power differential.
This is a fundamental human rights issue, that happens to apply to women.
Similarly, when I do not speak up for trans women AS trans women, stuck in the Ukraine, it is not because I wish to exclude them from womanhood, but because the injustice at hand does not pertain to womanhood.
The massive injustice keeping trans women in the Ukraine is not a violation of their rights as women, but as human beings. The issue is a political entity trapping its citizens within its borders and conscripting them into a war they do not wish to fight.
Trans women are a small minority within a larger group that also contains all of the men of fighting age within the country. To force a person to remain within your borders, fight and kill for you, is also a fundamental abuse of human rights upon all of them.
From my perspective, the social disrespect of misgendering trans women pales compared to the abuse of human autonomy that is happening.
Many people would probably call me pacifist hippy for that, but it is the same principle that earns me the label feminist.
I’m not good enough, because I find the focus on many issues to be detrimental to the cause of resolving Actively. Dangerous. Problems.
As a woman, I don’t understand:
Why are we talking about the pay-gap, when our medical rights are in jeopardy? Women’s lives are forcibly put at risk carrying unwanted pregnancies. Blatant violence and abuse is given a slap on the wrist by the criminal justice system, but we’re worried about a few extra dollars? If it’s such a concern, share salary information with your peers and learn to negotiate. Why pour so much time, energy, and resources into bringing awareness to an issue that has no clear resolution and such wide-spread disagreement about causation? Women are trapped in poverty and have reduced ability to access education, due to unwanted pregnancies. Almost all of us experience sexual abuse or harassment, and you want me to care that we make 80 cents on the dollar?
As an anti-racist, I don’t understand:
Why is terminology such a large part of the public conversation, when incarceration virtually legalizes slavery and people are regularly getting murdered in cold blood. People’s lives are being taken, but there is extensive aruing over new terminology that the other side doesn’t even understand. Of course these things are important, micro aggressions, black history, and other issues are extremely important, but what good is the language to express your situation in the face of legal terror and the dismantling of communities? There are devastating and well-documented issues, that wide-spread support can be built on. Then, the issues that are not life and death can have some hope of positive resolution. You do NOT have to respond on every issue. You do not have to expend your time and energy explaining and fighting for every injustice. I have heard “it’s exhausting” so many times. And I have said it myself. It is exhausting. You. will. lose. You are losing. Losing a war of attrition along with every other progressive movement. There is a school to prison pipeline that will not be changed by a new history book, because it was created by policing & the engineering of poverty, not the old history book.
The way to escape is to find the weakest point…the most impactful issues…for which you can gather the most support, and concentrate your power there, rally support there, until lasting change has occurred.
CHANGE MUST BE PRESERVED. But, many haven’t noticed how the simple right to vote has systematically been taken back, little by little, through gerrymandering, polling placements/difficulties, & incarceration.
As an ally, I don’t understand:
Why is the use of preferred pronouns such a large part of the conversation, when conversion therapy is still legal in 31 states? Why pour so much time, energy, and resources into pronoun usage and surface level acceptance, when people are legally being tortured because of their sexuality, and the forcing of specific pronoun use is alienating from your cause the large swaths of people that are generally supportive of personal lifestyle choice, but hate being told what to do?
The Court’s decision in favor of gay marriage is a flimsy party favor in the face of the continued existence of conversion therapy.
LGBT children are literally being tortured, but hey, tax benefits and love.
For the moment anyway…
More dangerously in terms of the movement toward acceptance, why are you allowing the sterilization and pre-puberty transitioning of children to be aligned with your cause? As if that will do Anything except raise hostility toward the trans community and sew confusion within the community itself. There are loud Trans voices speaking out against this, but still the tide of the movement rushes on.
We did not win. We were thrown an acknowledgement and then they used the perception of our success to rally support against us.
This is my defensive, personal paragaraph.
Yes, my priorities are influenced by my experiences. But, so are yours.
Maybe if people you cared about had endured conversion shock therapy, tied to a chair, it might matter to you more than pronouns. Yes. That happened.
People I love have had years of their lives stolen from them thanks to a racist and corrupt justice system.
I and many women I love have endured abuse, with no justice and no consequences to the abusers. Having also experienced the wage gap…the wage gap matters less.
Women I love have had to pursue abortions to preserve their own lives. Their lives matter more to me than the ratio of female CEOs in fortune 500 companies.
Something I learned from history and have seen up close, in the consistent advancement of Christian nationalism: You don’t get anywhere without precision, concentration, and united support.
The most despicable causes still get somewhere by bringing people together on a few critical issues and making incremental, changes over time.
The cause that advances is not the just cause. The cause that advances is the one with the better strategy, that deliberately builds broad support.
You can’t fight everything at once, and you can’t win by yourself.
If you put too many non-negotiables on one table, you’ll never find consensus and you’ll never have people working together.
Every progressive movement seems to be arguing semantics and over-looking systemic dehumanization.
I’m a terrible feminist.
Feminist standards are too high for progress in the current environment.
Feminist standards are too high for wide-spread support in the current environment.
Feminist standards are not attainable before addressing the systemic dehumanization that is on-going under our noses.
You think micro-aggressions in the workplace are going to stop before you have guaranteed full legal rights to your own body? Really?
The fair and just world we all want is too far away for us to be indiscriminately dismissing those willing to help us along the way.
We must focus on the next achievable step.
But, how are we meant to make progress, when you’ve tipped the entire hand and written off anyone who doesn’t ascribe to the ultimate agenda?
Outsiders don’t understand you. It is basic human instinct to treat as a threat that which is not understood.
And, rather than changing your language to communicate more effectively and recruit support to just causes, you choose to further alienate and disengage from potential supporters, with semantic gatekeeping.
That’s not helpful.
I’d say, “go on with your bad self.” But I don’t want to see my rights eroded and lost because Girl-Boss feminism decided to conduct a full frontal attack, alone, on deeply entrenched inequalities.
Use a little strategy, baby. Use a little strategy.
AND FUCKING CODIFY BODILY AUTONOMY BEFORE I HEAR ANOTHER FUCKING WORD ABOUT STUDENT LOANS, THE WAGE GAP, OR EDUCATION.
